When my daughter was little, I remember putting her to bed one night, and looking into her eyes, I wondered if I really knew that sweet girl deep inside those eyes. It was a very crazy time in my life. I had three busy little boys running (one crawling) around, and I didn't really have time (at least I felt I didn't) to spend alone with my little girl. But I felt as though I was missing something in my relationship with Emily. So I made a decision that night to MAKE time for Emily. It was then that I started our tradition of having tea together. Back then, we had tea almost every afternoon. At first, it was something I HAD to do. Honestly, being a busy mother of little people, it felt like work, but it wasn't long before it became my favorite time of day. It became a time to relax and chat over tea and goodies and connect with my little girl. We read many books together, made pillows and dolls, and worked on various projects during our tea time. We made a habit of having tea together for years, and it became a precious time that we both enjoyed.
In the past year or so, our tea time has changed. We don't have tea together everyday any more, but now that she is older we do almost everything together. We love being together! Next to Mike, Emily is my best friend.
Our family hosts a Farmer's Market at our house every Friday, May-October, so every Thursday is "baking day". Even though it's a lot of work, Em and I both just love being together in the kitchen all day. Almost every Thursday Emily will say, "Oh Mom, don't you just love baking day?" :) We both look forward to every moment we get to spend together. Whenever the boys are going to be gone with Mike, we get a twinkle in our eyes and say, "Girl time!"
Yesterday Em and I planned for some "girl time". We went to our favorite tea shop, had lunch and tea, then spent the afternoon shopping. When we got home, we made our favorite foods, grabbed a favorite girly movie, and spent the evening in my room watching our movie, laughing, and eating chocolate. :) I wonder where our relationship would be if I had not listened to God's voice many years ago, encouraging me to get to know my little girl in a deeper way. I enjoy her so much!!
The same thing happened with my oldest son, Brandon. When he was about fifteen, a light bulb went on, and I suddenly realized that I wasn't going to have that many more years with him before he was off on his own, so I decided to start taking him out for coffee on Saturday mornings. At first we would sit and talk for a half hour or so, but it wasn't long before our coffee dates were hours long! We would talk and talk and talk....and laugh! If you know Brandon, you know he's fun to be around and likes to laugh, so we would have a great time together while we sipped our coffee. I can remember on a number of occasions Brandon would tell me that he looked forward to our Saturday mornings together. One time, a lady came up to us and started talking to us, asking us if that cool car in the parking lot was ours. Brandon and I soon realized that she thought I was his girlfriend! :) Brandon told the lady, "Believe it or not, this is my MOM!" We got a good laugh out of that one! And now that Ben is going to be twelve, I need to start taking him out for coffee! :)
Spending time with our children doesn't have to mean costly vacations or expensive outings (although those are fun at times too). Even working together can be FUN for a child if they are with an adult who enjoys them.
Recently Jonny and I spent a couple of day working in the herb garden. We were harvesting herbs, which involved cutting them and hanging them to dry. The first day we got all geared up, Jonny had his tool belt on with his scissors and rubber bands stashed inside. We worked together, side by side, for an hour or two. The next day, as we are walking out to the garden together, he cheerfully asked, "So what are we cutting today, Mom?" He was just so happy and excited to WORK! A little later, as we were walking over to our market building where we were going to hang our herbs, he grabbed my hand to hold it as we were walking and said, "I like working in the herb garden with you, Mom!"
The next morning we worked in the herb garden again. When we were finished up hanging the last of the herbs in the market building, I got the idea to make sun tea for that afternoon. So I asked Jonny if he would want to run down to the herb garden (without me) and cut some lemon balm for our tea. He looked at me and said, "I'd be lost without you, Dicky!" and then gave me a cute freckled face grin. It was so cute and made me laugh so hard! :) The quote was from a Range Rider movie. He was saying that I was his sidekick and that he wouldn't know what to do without me! :)
Children need parents who enjoy being with them. If you find yourself telling your children to "Go Away!", you might need to re-evaluate you priorities. Do we moms enjoy our children more than our girlfriends? Would we rather go out with our friends than spend time with our teenage daughter? Our time with our kids is so short! We need to spend every minute we can enjoying them! So with that in mind...I will get off this computer and find my children! :)
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