I grew up in a suburb of Minneapolis. My family faithfully attended a Covenant Church, where I was confirmed. After high school, I attended Winona State to study nursing.
My intentions for college were good, to become an RN, but instead of turning my attention to my studies, I became consumed with the social life of college. The dabbling in drugs and alcohol that I had done in high school now became an obsession, with parties every weekend. This continued through my second year of college.
Despite my "good" upbringing, my life was full of sin. I was involved in many relationships, and as my life grew darker, I found myself doing things I never would have imagined myself doing. I appeared to have it all together on the outside, but inside I was sick with the thought of how hardened to sin I had become.
In late fall of my second year, I became very sick with mono. I decided to return home. There my lifestyle continued, and I never went back to college. I had my own apartment and worked as a CNA in nursing homes, home health care, and hospitals.
A few months later, I turned twenty-one, and shortly after that I found out that I was pregnant. The father of my child promptly came over with a wad of cash and told me where I needed to go for my abortion. He was very familiar with this scenario because his fiance had aborted four of their children.
My appointment was scheduled. I had to wait until the baby was 8 weeks old. In the meantime, I became very sick with hyperemesis. I vomited continuously, hour after hour, day after day. Friends and family would take me to the clinic and ER to get IVs. I could not keep anything down. I would vomit 10-12 times a day, sleep through the night and then wake to the same thing the next day. I was completely miserable and wanted to die.
Shortly before I became pregnant I had quit my job with the intentions of finding a new one. Now I was so sick I could not work. Needless to say, I could not pay my bills and I confirmed in my mind that abortion was my only option.
Everyone that I talked to encouraged me to abort, to think of my future. All except one friend, Cindy. She prayed to God that I would not go through with it. She would give me information to read, but I never read any of it. The pile of papers just sat stacked in my room collecting dust.
Finally the day to end my misery was almost upon me. I found a friend to take me to the clinic. I would abort my baby in about 36 hours.
As I sat alone in my room that night, the "pile" caught my eye. I told myself, "I really should read that stuff before I go through with this." I picked up a booklet. It was titled "What Does God Say About Abortion?", by Focus On the Family.
Now I knew about God and Jesus Christ. As I said, I grew up in church. I went to the youth camps and on all the retreats. I knew of Him.......yet I didn't know I needed Him.
So as I began to read through this booklet, I found myself reading scripture after scripture. And as I read those scriptures something began to happen in my heart. My hard, darkened, blind heart began to understand what I was really going to do. You see, a woman in a crisis pregnancy situation is not killing a baby. She is just removing a road block in her life, getting rid of an unwanted situation, making sure she protects her future. She is NOT KILLING a baby, at least that is what she believes. But the scriptures opened my eyes. God's Word helped me see my situation for what it really was. My heart was softened and I began to weep and say over and over, "I can't do it! I can't do it!"
And there, before my Heavenly Father, I got on my face and wept like I had never wept before. My heart cried out to Him. I said, "Lord, I have made such a mess of my life! I have turned my back on you and determined that I did not need You, please forgive me."
There in my apartment, alone, I got saved. (Romans 10:9-10) I did not know at the time what it meant to be saved, or born again (John 3:3), but I was!
The next day I woke up feeling great. I could not believe it! I did not throw up. I cautiously ate breakfast. It stayed down!! This was a total miracle to me! If you knew how sick I had been, you would understand. Not only was I feeling good, but there was a new freedom is my life.
The decision to not abort my child was confusing and disturbing to my friends and family. Even more unexplainable to them was my joy and peace. The decision that they saw as bringing bondage to my life (not aborting), to me was totally liberating. I was experiencing freedom from the bondage of sin for the first time in my life. I wrote in my journal that I wanted to run outside and do cartwheels down the street!! I was FREE!!! Jesus had forgiven me of my sins!
Not only was I experiencing this unending joy and peace, but I was different (2 Corinthians 5:17). I couldn't explain it, but I just knew there were things that I could not do anymore, and didn't want to do. The programs on TV that I had watched, I couldn't watch them. I knew I had to change my association. Every thing was changing, and I was so excited about my future! When people would ask me what I was going to do, what my plans were.....well, I had no clue, but I KNEW that God would take care of me. I knew my future was bright! :)
The Lord gave me that one day of freedom from sickness...the whole day...I never got sick once (a miracle), but I did continue to get sick again in the following days. Yet I had that day to hold on to, knowing that God was taking care of me.
I was sick for a few months, but eventually I had days here and there that I didn't vomit. I was very behind on my bills. Someone from the church that I grew up in directed me to a crisis pregnancy center, Amnion (http://www.amnioncpc.org/ ), in Burnsville, MN. There I counsel with Janis Lamont, and she taught me to search God's word for answers to my questions. She also told me about an organization that helped women like me with their bills. That organization, Project Life (now Cradle of Hope), paid my rent. What a huge blessing that was! But I needed to get a job! I prayed and asked the Lord to help me find a job.
Not long after, I got a call from a hospital saying that they had had my application on file for a long time, but now they had an opening and they wondered if I was interested in a job. Boy was I ever!! I asked the lady on the phone about the job description, and she said they needed a CNA on the OB floor. I couldn't believe it!! Not only had God answered my prayer, but He was giving me a job where I would be taking care of newborns, helping new moms, and watching a birth as part of my training!
The testimony about my job is just one of many, many testimonies I could share. The Lord provided for all my needs, and did (and continues to do) exceedingly abundantly above all that I could ask or think!
My son, Brandon, was born in October. Not many weeks later, I met my husband at the church I was attending with Brandon. We were married when Brandon was 1 1/2 years old. Shortly after that, Mike adopted him. Mike and I have had three more children since then, Emily, Benjamin, and Jonathan. Our last pregnancy ended in miscarriage, 7 years ago. We would love it if God would give us more children.
When I got saved, I did not fully understand what it meant. In the months following my conversion, God taught me what it meant to KNOW HIM. If I know that He is God, then I know that His Word (the BIBLE) is true. And if I know that His Word is true, then I will read it and obey it. I will follow Him.
There is an old saying that goes, "To know and not to do, is not to know." Becoming a Christian is not about having a life full of peace and joy, not that a person will not experience that too, but it's about following the Lord. Now that may sound easy, but the road He walked was far from that. He was rejected, hated, beaten, spit on, and killed on a cross. He blessed those who cursed Him, loved His enemies, and helped those rejected by society. He says that if someone hits us on the face, we should give them the other cheek to hit also. And that if someone asks you for something, give it to them, and don't ask for it back. If they want your cloak, to give them your coat also. Now that's no easy thing for a Minnesotan! :) All that to say, the life of a Christian is a challenging one! While I thought that I knew Him before I got saved, as many church-goers do, the difference was that I had not been forgiven of my sins and I was not following Him.
To learn more about what it means to be "saved" or "born again" read my page titled, "Heaven?".
To God be the Glory for the things He has done!!
